I don’t like to do too much in a given day. I prefer to pace myself, move gradually into things, take time to reflect, piece my thoughts together, figure out what’s what. On the third day of the year I am wondering why I have not had this kind of time, why we seem to have been quite so busy. It has been making me uneasy. Yesterday I went and saw an older couple from Church with the kids. At least one of them nearly 90 years old, they are one of those remarkable, unremarkable couples whose long life together has withstood its fair share of tragedy, like many others. It was great to be in their company, less for what was said than for what wasn’t. It was a live-action demonstration of gentleness.
We often forget to honour those closest to us. I watched this couple go through familiar processes of being hospitable in a routine perfected over decades. They treated each other, and us, with infinite courtesy and patience. This may have been a throwback to an earlier age, yet we can all think of older couples with nothing but bitterness between them. Good manners aside, though, it was the deep respect each had for the other which left a deep and lasting impression.
Being and getting older is a process I have not exactly embraced. Not keen to be old nor to start dressing like my daughter I am sometimes keen to get these strange in-between years over with with. It’s a bit like being a teenager all over again, with a whole raft of warnings about what to avoid, like ponzi schemes, botox, liposuction and extreme hair colours. Life has speeded up in recent years. It feels like I’ve been jumped onto a faster track. It is alarming at times and feels out of control. Even though I would like to find the short cut I know there’s no instant transformation from awkward not-quite-accepting middle age mum to serene senior. This has to be a good thing. Because wherever I am, it’s always going to be new and strange with regrets along the way and hopes up ahead.
But watching this couple gave me a glimpse of what could be, even if don’t get to get old. I too can have the quiet companionship they enjoy because I already have it. Even before I met my husband I had a companion in life who treats me with infinite respect and tenderness, does not pull me up on my mistakes and continues to express his love and delight in me. He has been my companion since I was a child, and will remain so forever. He has given me so much to enjoy, to be thankful for, and to share. So much already, and so much more to come.
Due South 